How many......

posted by Bill Black - 

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?  A: Since they rarely change anything without first appointing a study committee,   it can take anywhere from between six (6) to twelve (12) politicians to change a  lightbulb.

Q: How many college football players does it take to change a light  bulb? A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? A: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs  burn out and to figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to  make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.

Q:  How many divorce lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:  3 - one to argue for the rights of the old lightbulb, one to argue  for the rights of the new lightbulb, and one to argue for the rights of  the light socket

And the best one i found....

Q. How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb? 

A1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 

A2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 

A3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! A4. Rottweiler: Make me. A5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 

A6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! 

A7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. 

A8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. 

A9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb? 

A10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

 A11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

 A12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...

 A13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? 

A14. New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little cluster... 

A15. Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.


The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"


ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.


Bill Black

Bill Black

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