Bunnie Xo explained why she removed her podcast episode about her divorce from Jelly Roll.

She posted a new Ask, Tell, Confess installment of her Dumb Blonde podcast on Friday (July 10). Bunnie Xo shared with her listeners, “I really thought out what I was gonna say to you guys about this because, one, I have built my platform on always being honest with you guys and always being upfront. And it’s kind of backfired on me because I do always feel like I owe you guys the truth of things even when, to me, they’re obvious. but for some reason, people always want to try to make things like a negative thing. And it’s really crazy.

“I took it down because I realized I just don’t want one of the hardest moments of my life to become a permanent headline,” Bunnie Xo said. “I don’t want to live in that, you know? I believe in being transparent with you guys and that’s never, ever, ever going to change. But I also believe that people deserve the space to heal, to evolve and to move forward.”

Bunnie Xo continued:

“That episode served a purpose for me at that time, and it was real, it was honest and it came from exactly where I was emotionally in that moment. But I’m not in that same place anymore. And I think that that’s where we need to pause and just kind of focus on the fact that people are like, ‘oh, well, she moved on so fast.’ And it’s like, hold up. I’ve been mourning the loss of my marriage for at least a year. I had visions of the news breaking, of it happening, you know, and there is so much behind the scenes that I have not spoken on, and that I will never speak on because it doesn’t matter. I will only tell you guys my part in the demise of my marriage. And you know, when people see me out having fun and, you know, just living my best life, I can see where they would be like, ‘wow, they just announced the divorce.’

“But really, you guys have to understand I have been sitting in purgatory — purgatory — for two and a half months in my studio house. Literally, there was times where I was on the floor screaming, crying, because I could not understand what the f*** was going on. There were moments where you guys had to call and get me IVs because I was going to have to go to the hospital because I was not eating. I wasn’t drinking. …I couldn’t even stand up because I was so f***ing devastated. you guys took turns watching me, not just because I wouldn’t eat, but because you guys were so scared for my mental health. None of you guys would leave me alone. ...Thats the s*** that you guys don’t see because on the internet I’m extremely vulnerable. But when it comes to seeing me be weak, or — this makes me want to tear up — when it comes to seeing me be weak, I will never let you guys see that side of me. I think I cried one time on a vlog whenever J and I broke up in 2018, and I promised myself that I would not do that. And yeah, I might’ve cried about my book, but those were happy tears. And, you know, in the divorce podcast, I was super vulnerable. And to be honest with you, I don’t like being that vulnerable because yes, it makes me human, but at the same time, I want women to know you’re going to f***ing get through it. You’re going to survive.

“But I also, if I’m being real, I don’t want the divorce to become my entire personality. I don’t want to be the poster child for divorce. I don’t want people DMing me saying ‘I’m so sorry your husband left you.’ You know, it’s like, when you guys really don’t even know the whole story. you guys only know bits and piece. You know, there’s so much more to me than just one painful chapter in my life, and there’s so much more tat I wanna talk about, and that I want to create, and that I want to laugh about, and that I want to experience with you guys. I made $100,000 on that f***ing podcast. Yes, it was one of my highest viewed podcast episodes. But I don’t care about the money. If I cared about the money, I would have left it up and let it get another f***ing hundred grand.”

Bunnie Xo credited the people who “rallied around me,” and “had my back through it all.” She assured that pulling the Dumb Blonde episode was “not a malicious thing, (and) wasn’t about hiding anything or pretending it didn’t happen.” Instead, it was a decision to focus on growth and moving forward as she sets her sights on finding happiness and getting to know herself again after the split. The bestselling Stripped Down: Unfiltered and Unapologetic author reiterated of Jelly Roll, “that dude is my best friend, and I love him to death. We talk all the time. …He’s literally my best friend.”

Jelly Roll filed to divorce Bunnie Xo on May 18 in Williamson County, Tennessee, outside of Nashville. They’d been separated since May 9. Bunnie spoke about the divorce on the now-deleted podcast episode, including sharing that she “ended up leaving,” after an argument on Mother’s Day. She also addressed her IVF journey, and said, “you guys are going to be shocked to hear this, but we’re still having a baby.” She told listeners, “my husband and I are ending this marriage on the best possible terms that you could ever have a divorce.”

Jelly Roll addressed the divorce on stage, and shared he clip on Instagram. He said, in part, “Me and my wife are best friends. We will always be best friends. We just got off the phone earlier today. Nobody cheated on nobody. …That will be my best friend forever.” He also directed people to Bunnie Xo's podcast when she addressed the divorce.

Jelly Roll and Bunnie Xo — whose real names are Jason DeFord and Alisa DeFord — met in 2015. They got married in August 2016 in a spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas, Nevada, and returned to the venue to renew their vows in August 2023. Bunnie has embraced her role as stepmother to Bailee Ann, 18, and Noah Buddy, 9, Jelly Roll’s children from previous relationships.

Listen to the full episode on iHeartRadio here (warning: language).

LUKE BRYAN